She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
