I am spending my child support on dildos
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
