I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
