Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
