I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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