My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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