Can i not drive my cunt home
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
