It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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