If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
