Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
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