Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
