I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We have so much sex to catch up on
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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