Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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