I cannot find my penis.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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