I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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