Sponge bath it is.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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