So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
How's work?
Spinning.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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