Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
