I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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