Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
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I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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