You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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