This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
