then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
