Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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