just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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