All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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