I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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