a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
