I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
