I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
