puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
