The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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