Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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