"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
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After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
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A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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