the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
