you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
