I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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