Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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