cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
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