She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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