everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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