i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
