the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
