Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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