why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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