i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
