My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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