Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
