very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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