The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
