3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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