operation harelip BJ is a go
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
