So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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