i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
