shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
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I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
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Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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