not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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