Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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