Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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