Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
