Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
