I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
dude. I can hear the air.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
