I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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