I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Randomize
