Can Purell be used as lube?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
