Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
