How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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