I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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